I just crashed on a bench in Springfield that night; in the morning some dickbag cop made me move. I started my life as a solid dude and believed that shit for me would always be epic. Then shit went hella-south and I was hungry and hungover and pissed about how not-laid I was getting, and then I was all whining like a little bitch. I wandered around Springfield feeling totally drained. The sun was balls-bright and I couldn’t find my Oakleys. I was so fucking hungry. All I had left to nosh on were the last of some pizza-flavored Combos I’d bought in Shelton, Nebraska, months ago; I sucked on them for some pizza flavor. I didn’t know where the fuck I could find some decent grub that would take my parents’ Discover card.