November 4, 2010

Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report

11/16 UPDATE: Malodorous suspect gets 90 days in jail.

Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

According to investigators, Williams–who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn–showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams–who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated–nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.

Comments (44)

Submitted by bowenj10 on Wed, 2010-11-10 02:00.
Seriously, why isn’t this woman being brought up on rape charges?

Submitted by flangegpp on Wed, 2010-11-24 10:32.
Smellin’ of Troy, the face that launched a thousand sh!ts.

Submitted by garyhope on Wed, 2010-11-17 03:01.
Apparently she wasn’t exactly “Springtime Fresh”.

Submitted by Mrs.R on Thu, 2010-11-11 17:40.
While this a very funny, it does appear as an aggravated attempt at rape.

Submitted by floyddabarber on Wed, 2010-11-10 22:46.
Yes, Rape of my eyes. Guilty as charged.

Submitted by Larry Andre on Thu, 2010-11-11 19:05.
She definitely has “a face like a bucket of worms”

Submitted by Essen Sie Micht on Thu, 2010-11-11 00:51.
It really doesn’t get more disgusting then this, OH WAIT… “Mouse Found Lodged Inside Naked Arrestee.”

Submitted by Greg on Mon, 2010-11-08 14:09.
I have never laughed as much!

Submitted by harry t. watts on Tue, 2010-11-09 19:05.
NOTE TO SELF: CANCEL BLIND DATE WITH MOTOR-INN-GIRL69. ALSO CANCEL MEMBERSHIP TO BLINDDATE.COM.

Submitted by antoinette on Mon, 2010-11-08 14:44.
…..the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” really…Really….REALLY? We can assume that Adam’s sense of smell was performing but was he blind, for chrissakes? Just confirms the fact that you guys will ‘do it’ to anything.

This is absolutely hysterical. Thanks Captain Cramer.

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